Saturday, December 29, 2012

Death of Delhi Gang Rape Victim - Death of values in the Indian Society or a New Birth? 

There is a photo making a circulation in social media about a girl whose name is not officially known but many call her Damini, has passed away after a long drawn battle in Singapore's Mount Elizabeth Hospital. Times of India  call her "Abhaya". Whatever is her name, probably it would become "Anamika" (nameless), if we do not take this incidence into a logical end. This is probably the largest uproar for an individual ever in my opinion, thanks to the media and the people who gathered in New Delhi after the incidence. The country has also witnessed many uproar and even death of a constable. Public anger and many utilizing the opportunity for hooliganism and political parties trying to get mileage over one another, etc., have been witnessed by all of us. I am not going to talk about all of these.First of all let me convey my hearty condolences to her family, relatives, kith and kin. Thanks to the million who are now sensitized hopefully.  

We have all witnessed in the past that any uproar stays for a time and then all of us forget. Debates on TV News Channels will be replaced slowly but surely when other issues come up. I had also written in the social media about how many women who were raped and some even lost their lives did not even get any attention by the mass. Many times, if the victims are from villages or are underprivileged, in our country such people are always Anamikas. This had shaken me so much like any other good human would have naturally be. Shouting or lighting candles or writing in social media as one of the posts among many our youngsters post will not change things. 

Can we all ponder over what is the need of the hour? Where is our great country which preaches moral values and boasts of thousands of years of culture and tradition going? I have been watching many observations in the social media ranging from request to hang the culprits immediately, to dress code suggested by some men and objected vehemently by some women, especially of young age, to change in laws, etc., Probably everything might have a place for debate (after all in democracy there is place for everything). Some time, we should realize, that we get only lost in these arguments and we go nowhere. Let us do an emotional but wise and practical thinking of the whole matter. 

This is not to label all men as some animals, as fathers, husbands and brothers are men too. At the same time, let me tell my fellow men that it is not just wise to accuse all women as our mothers and sisters and wives too are women. An young boy must think, what is the security for his sister who had gone to college and yet to return. My dear sisters, think whether your brother treats other women with respect. When we can all learn universal brotherhood ( if you want to call sisterhood, I do not mind). Honestly tell me, even if the girl's parent in all their agony will not even once pass to think, why my daughter went at an odd time to movie and with a boy? These may not be expressed in anger, but we as parents do think. Dress code is another issue which is not very important now to talk, but I will just mention as incidence. One of my girl students who wanted to take up training at our company asked me over the phone as to what dress code they should follow. I after a smile told her: " I do not advocate any dress code here nor interested in moral policing. However, I can tell you one thing.You can wear anything that you think bring respect to you from my staff or your other students including boys and also from the general public, The public should say how decent and respectable is this girl. What is that dress code, is it pant and shirt or salwar or saree or any modern dress, I will not comment". She promptly told me sir, you have made things clear to me. I do not know why some need to over blow these too. In India there used to be a saying " the girl looks like Mahalakshmi". You can imagine how she would have looked. 

There is also widespread opinion that men view women as object of sex and a toy of entertainment. I cannot deny this at all. Who is responsible for this? Men or women, no, all of us. Why we do not object to the ads which depicts women like that? Is not there an "Advertising Standard Council of  India (ASCI)? Here is the link:, if anyone cares please go and complain. Also there are women organization who simply blames the men for exploitation of women even in movies and ads. I do not think these women are like the underprivileged and voiceless who cannot talk against their perpetrators  but are rich and have big fan following. Why don't they ask these "ladies and elite group not to indulge in these things?". Please remember I am no male chauvinist and am for the true empowerment of women all over the world. While many women walk on the streets why only some are commented even by a man who otherwise is silent? Of course, one placard during these marches read like this: "even if I walk naked on the road, you cannot rape me". It is absolutely true and if you are a good man and have values and is respected by this society, you need to turn away and walk. Of course, it would have hurt me as I would have sensed the degradation of this society. If it was a woman lying naked due to other reasons, then a right thinking man would cover her with his shawl or even shirt. Are you all getting my point. Yes, that would be the right thinking and mature society. I dream of that. I am also equally sad how a woman can utter that she will be happy to go on the road naked? Even as a man I cannot imagine nor even dream of such behavior of walking naked on the road. Let our thoughts mature so that we can be called mature and we will create a mature society. 

Now, I pose the questions to the youth (boys and girls who had been debating on many things). Can you take oath of the following?   

Man / Boy: I treat the people of other gender as my equal and respect them and will not insult or hurt physically, mentally or morally. I will genuinely treat them as friends ( if you cannot take a oath saying you treat them as sisters and mothers) I genuinely try to help them as far as possible considering they are physically weak and they deserve my help. I will not induce them or show sexual or obscene gestures. I realize that I am a gentleman and will be seen as a Hero in situations which warrant my help. I will not cheat a girl with a false promise of marriage nor lure her unlawfully. 

Woman / girl: I will treat the people of other gender as my equal and respect them and will not insult or hurt physically, mentally or morally. I genuinely treat them as good friends  ( if you cannot take a oath saying that you treat them as brothers and like fathers). I will try to help them when they require. I will not use them for my own petty gains nor induce them with seducing gestures. I realize that men are made strong by God in nature ( you can omit the word God if you are atheist)  and I give the proper respect for that. I will not cheat a boy with false promise of marriage nor lure unlawfully.

I hope it is evenly balanced. When we talk or write anything, about other gender realize that you too have your sisters, wife or mother. Parents have a great responsibility in teaching both the boys and girls. You set an example to them. Then only you will be called a "Mata" or "Pita" as the Indian culture describes and are kept at par with God himself. Society will not develop on its own nor matures unless we all grow and mature. 

Coming to the question of how we can control it till the society matures slowly, we have many means such as legal, social, governmental and technological solutions. Laws for sure need to change in many ways. definition of rape,  proper identification of the crime and quick registering of cases and quick disposals are very important. Police should become friends of the public and oppressed but a terror to the wrong doers. Public should also realize they are part of the society. We cannot close our eyes to the constable Mr.Tomar who lost his life. 

I had seen thousands on street condemning the cruel act and I put my appreciation for them in writing. However, tell me how many are ready to come together in forming a "Civilian Task Force" who could patrol the areas during night or even become informers to police with the help of police. I do not know whether a system like "Friends of Police" is in place in New Delhi. I made a call for it elsewhere on a social network but no one had said "Yes".

I wonder why registering a case should take much problem for the police. I think there is a misunderstanding of the word "FIR" at both ends, FIR or First Information Report is just registering a "report" about the "Information" obtained by them, no matter whether the information is given by an individual or a group or even a news and is not a verdict nor a proven information. To prove it comes after the police investigation and enquiry and is confirmed and verdict given only by the court. Why they hesitate is not understood and why people should hesitate to go to the police also is strange. Why not technology come to help? We can make complaints filing online. I hope the government will listen to this. 

I request all the right thinking people to write your ideas and suggestions to Judge Usha Mehra Commission set up for this purpose, you can send your email to  or through fax at 011-23093750 latest by 10th of January, 2013. The official site is: 
When asked by government agencies or commissions, many times public  reactions are poor. This is the time, all bloggers and social media activists who shout and cry can make their points. 

Coming to technology, I wonder why many times we fail to notice the advancements in technology and use them in right way. When smart phones can do so much why we cannot use them or develop gadgets which can alert police when women are in trouble? You can even keep an emergency messaging draft which can be simultaneously send to police as well as your dear and near ones. Also giving out GPRS locations to your family will be of great use. I have ideas for gadgets which can reduce crimes and will write to the government. Let me see whether they are genuinely interested in using such simple cheaper yet powerful weapons to curtail such activities. 

Various ways technology can come to help, but change of heart and attitude is the best and better than any technology.


  1. Everyone has lost "RESPECT" for one another, and other peoples property, our Governments lie and cheat, their are not many good role models for people to follow!

  2. Respected T Charles Sir, I am so glad that u took deep concern about this inhuman matter.Your view towards this crime is genuinly good. It needs all support from family members to friends circle from law to government .if we will stand together we can make a Women Assault free India .